Answers For A Liberal’s Questions On The GOP Primary!

In this debut post, “Skeptical Liberal” Chris Migliaccio is puzzled by a few developments in the head-scratching GOP primary process, and fervent anti-Obama supporter Matt Schneider is happy to provide some answers (with tons of spin of course) on the inner-workings of the conservative mind. First up, questions pertaining to some of the losing Republican candidates for Presidents. And if you have any questions you would like either Chris or Matt to address in the future, let us know in the comments below. Enjoy!

Chris: Had Rick Perry spoken in public before he announced his candidacy? It seems like he must have, being governor of Texas and all, but if anyone had seen him speak, why would they think this guy could get through a Presidential Primary?

Matt: After the “all sizzle, no substance” style of President Obama, it seemed that a good ole’ fashioned, plain-spoken Texan might be just what the doctor ordered as a contrast to the slickster. In fact, famed wrestling manager Slick’s theme music (http://youtu.be/tdNMj1fS2dw) might be strangely appropriate for Obama’s re-election campaign song. And no, that’s not a racial comment, it’s merely an acknowledgment that Obama’s main attribute is being a smooth-talker and that’s about it! As for Perry, many thought his excellent record of job creation in Texas could have helped him sail through the primary field. And while his avoidance of Washington-speak could have been a huge plus with Tea Party and anti-establishment conservatives, no one quite could have predicted he was as dumb as his racist rock! NEXT QUESTION!?!

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Chris: I buy your answer about Perry. Everyone loved the George W. Bush “simple Texas talk” thing, but Bush never had gaffes as bad as Perry’s. Also, our President is Slick? Really? The Jive Soul Bro? We all know that if our President is any wrestler, it’s the Rock (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7ZMVCoHnn8). Next question. Jon Huntsman seems like a good candidate – smart, moderate, good looking dude, hot daughters we all could have enjoyed for 8 months. Like a better Romney without the flip flopping baggage. Why did his campaign not gain traction?

Matt: From the beginning of his campaign, Huntsman came across as an erudite, pompous and arrogant know-it-all (so much so that I could see him jumping up and ever so gingerly raising his voice to correct me that those adjectives describing him all mean the same thing and I should know better). At least Obama had the decency and political wisdom to not reveal himself to be an elitist until after he was elected President. Huntsman, however, couldn’t wait that long to flex his Mandarin tongue at us. And newsflash, working for President Obama as the Ambassador to China is not putting “Country First” as Huntsman would have liked us to believe. If that was true, he would have finished out his service under Obama, or not accepted the position, only to bite the hand that fed it to him by trying to take the job of his boss later. Not to mention that while Huntsman was putting “Country First” no one stopped to ask him which country he was putting first! While he was in China, as Donald Trump would say, Huntsman allowed China to manipulate their currency and rip us off blind. So good riddance Huntsman, and if you do plan on running again in four years, here’s some advice: run as a Democrat!

Chris: You neglected to deal with how hot his daughters are. Minus ten points, Matt.

To Be Continued Next Week . . .