Welcome to Week 13 of the Raw Recap on the Weeklyshowtv.com.
They say 13 is an unlucky number. I would imagine that Taz(z) would disagree. But good news for my reader. Hi Ethel Reidenberg! Next week I’ll be taking the week off, so just like all sitcoms do around this time, instead of something new we’ll have a week of recaps. However, since nothing good has come out this column in the last 12 plus weeks to recap, I’ll have to think of something else. I mean, it’s not as bad as a 3 hour Raw with JR doing a dance and rap off, with Bull Buchanun waiting in the back. I think I know why Miz Girl is so mad, she’d rather be Katie Vick than have to endure that again. The jokes would be so thin, even Special Guest Host Jonah Hill wouldn’t see it. #Trendinghorriblecommentary.
So this Sunday we have the Royal Rumble. I remember going to the Royal Rumble that John Cena won a few years back at Madison Square Garden. I hated the ending but I can never hate the match itself (don’t test me with that WWE!). For some reason I have a feeling that I will hate this Sunday. It’s rumored Randy Orton will win in his hometown of St. Louis. If that’s the case, just like it was with John Cena, that would be a mistake. Not because he doesn’t deserve to win. But because he doesn’t have to win! Both Cena and Orton are in the points of their career where they can main event Wrestlemania even if they were eliminated from the Rumble in under a second. There are reasons that top guys cemented in the main event level don’t win a MITB match. They just don’t need it. Instead, use the Rumble to build and/or cement someone else. They did it with Del Rio last year. And despite what they did to him during and after Wrestlemania, they had two months from the Rumble to Wrestlemania to make him believable as a main eventer. And they did it. Having said that, here are 5 people I think can benefit a lot from a Rumble win, and would be credible winners: Dolph Ziggler, Cody Rhodes, Chris Jericho, Miz, and Daniel Bryan (either he loses the belt then wins the Rumble or is the first champion to win so that he can’t be challenged at Mania). 5 heels? Does this mean the faces dominate the brands so much that none are credible enough to hit that level. Well, Punk has the title. I see Big Show in a championship match keeping him out of the Rumble. And I think Sheamus would be the sixth on that list, I just don’t see him winning it. All this adds up to Orton winning the Rumble for the home crowd cheer (the short term payoff) at the expense of the long term thought.
As for tonight’s Raw (comments made below in time with Raw’s airing):
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CM Punk starts off Raw…with a below average promo. And here comes Cena to make it worse. It seems the only time Cena gets cheered is when he mentions Zack Ryder. Looks like they’ll keep exploiting Ryder to make Cena look better.
I’m still not sure if John Laurinaitis is getting Vickie Guerrero heat (I boo you cause you’re good at being bad on the show) or X-Pac heat (I boo you because I never want to see you on the show). Either way, at least he’s getting a negative reaction – something he didn’t get early in his time as Interim GM of…..I’d hit the word limit of this page if I finish that title so let’s move on.
In a move that actually makes sense, Ziggler and Swagger come out to take on Punk and Cena. So Swagger gets to take the fall and further bury him right?
It’s kind of sad that Laurinaitus was the best part of the first 15 minutes. This beginning gave the Kane promo from a few weeks ago a run for its money as worst opening in recent time.
One thing I did like and I hope they keep is the promo right into the first match, and then a commercial shortly thereafter (if anything, it may prevent those on the fence about changing channels after the promo to stay since they are slightly invested in the match).
With these four in the ring now, who will be in the main event? Santino vs. Tyson Kidd? Wait, I forgot, every Raw before the Rumble ends with the roster in the ring trying to throw each other over the top (and once thrown out in these fights, people never seem to get back in the ring and instead just walk away holding their backs/heads).
Ziggler pins Punk 4 times in a month. Couple that with Lauriniatis as the special guest referee at the Rumble. So I guess that means Ziggler’s chance of winning the title at the Rumble is now 0%.
So far Jericho’s promo has been the best one on this episode.
45+ minutes in. 1 match. 2 promos. You could’ve fit at least 90 divas matches in this time (and I’m really glad they didn’t try).
Forget the 3 personas of Mick Foley in a Rumble promo (Cactus Jack, Dude Love, and Mankind). In this one, we’ve had 3 Viscera persona sightings (Viscera, Mabel, and Big Daddy V)!!!…..sigh, I’ve been watching too closely for too long.
We don’t have to worry about Eve ever winning the Slammy for best actress.
We should have Michael Cole give Kane’s promos. He repeated everything Kane says in 10 minutes in 10 seconds.
So can Laurinaitis say Cena came out before the match ended (ref never called for the bell) so Ryder doesn’t get his title shot? I would’ve been ok with Laurinaitis coming out as they’re stretchering Ryder out to announce the U.S. title match against Swagger would start then. Ultra heat for Swagger and sympathy for Ryder – that may salvage the horrible title change of last week.
What was with the delayed reactions by Kane, Eve, and Cena? Seemed Cena was supposed to come out 30 seconds earlier (Kane looked over his shoulder at least 3 times and basically stood next to Eve for 5 seconds). Then when Eve and Cena looked at Ryder, they didn’t know how to show concern.
I guess a spot just opened up in the Rumble. Now’s the time for a comeback Duke The Dumpster Droese.
We definitely don’t have to worry about Eve ever winning the Slammy….for anything (ok maybe side profile).
And the staring and convulsing into the camera by Cena is ridiculous. I think I’m figuring out why WWE movies do so bad.
Aside from the Jericho highlight, the Barrett/Sheamus/Mahal portion of Raw is the least painful part of Raw so far. Since it’s a throw away match, that’s not a good thing.
And immediately Miz’s promo took top billing on Raw…until he inexplicably didn’t attack R-Truth the second he saw him (you know, since Truth’s been constantly attacking Miz and leaving him on the ground every week).
Heaven help me I’m starting to tolerate the Funkasaurus. I think William Regal’s danceoff with him on Smackdown made me start caring. Or maybe the rest of Raw is just that painful and Brodus Clay’s matches are diva level quick.
A bit of an anticlimactic ending to Truth and Miz, but a good match. There goes Miz’s chance of winning the Rumble. It’s worth noting that the crowd seems very out of it since the Ryder injury angle and hasn’t reacted to much (in my opinion the better part of Raw came after that angle). Why they did it so early in the night surprises me. They just haven’t gotten them back yet.
10:55, 2 Otunga sightings, and not one slurp? The slurp might have made Top 5 moments on Raw this week.
So Michael Cole could mock Punk and Daniel Bryan for competing in Japan and the indies, but not John Laurinaitis.
A fax? Not an email? Or a text? Or a Facebook message? I know the WWE is trying to relive the late ‘90s and early ‘00s, but I didn’t realize they meant by using a fax machine. I was so shocked when I heard this I had to rewind the cassette in my VCR to catch up.
Bait and switch with not having Laurinaitis compete? Best bait and switch ever (although the thought of an Otunga match did make my heart stop for a second).
How exactly did that last segment sell the PPV? It seems like it was more for Raw next week….and here comes Dolph to make it mildly relevant.
A Raw with only one diva appearing!?!? Granted, it was in 3 segments. Did I blink and actually miss the divas match this week?
Very subpar Raw, with the importance of the Rumble essentially glossed over outside the video package.
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What I’d like to see next week: One of the 5 from above come out and celebrate his Rumble championship….or at least just an enjoyable show.
What I will see next week: If recent episodes are any indication, thankfully, nothing, since I will be travelling during that time!
Thanks for reading! Comment if you would like.
–Mark the Mark
