An Open Letter to Paula “Lying Sack of Butter” Deen

Dear Paula Deen,

You are a horribly irresponsible television host and celebrity, who has proven in the past week – since announcing your diabetes diagnosis and subsequent pharmaceutical endorsement – that you do not care about your viewers and loyal fans. Instead, all you care about are your ratings, your endorsement deals, and how many people buy in to the Paula Deen brand. And, no, this does not shock me, as you are in a world of other brand-building celebrities who do not care about the customers they talk about in interviews, but rather the dollar signs you see on your checks. However, I do think you need to take a healthy low-fat dose of STFU and stop talking to America as if we are all idiots who view your statements with value and honesty.

You did not wait three years to announce you have diabetes because you wanted to “know all the facts” before announcing. It does not take three years to learn the facts of diabetes. I went to law school and THAT took three years, but learning the FAQs of diabetes – I don’t think so. It DOES take three years to get an endorsement deal with a pharmaceutical company for a new diabetes drug. It DOES take three years to help develop your son’s cooking show about the healthy versions of your greasy poisonous dishes. And it DOES take three years to find a way to package this news in a lovely PR-friendly manipulative way.

And in those three years, you have continued to hawk your cookbooks, television program, and subsequent recipes on to an unassuming American public. Should your viewers and readers assume on their own that deep fried butter could lead to health risks? Sure. But you have made it seem so laissez faire, showing them a seemingly healthy and lively 60+ year old woman allegedly unaffected by this gluttonous lifestyle. You are the cool kid in high school who seems to only get better with drugs, thereby denouncing D.A.R.E.’s message to the freshman, and convincing them that they too should be doing drugs. But just like that cool kid, you have put your own health in danger as well as all of your followers’.

I would like to say that you are the older version of Lindsey Lohan but I realized that such a comparison actually serves as a disservice to Ms. Lohan. While she may have become a poor role model for those who looked up to her and supported her career, she never actually hawked the substances she abused. You, on the other hand, led an unhealthy lifestyle and encouraged others to follow suit, knowing the effects it was having on your own health. And now you downplay the seriousness of diabetes, simply brushing off the major effects it has had on your life. You state that you have just been slightly altering your recipes, but unless you are substituting every single ingredient in those recipes (thus creating a completely new recipe devoid of any Paula Deen influence), you are not properly taking care of your diabetes – or you are lying (my money’s on lying!). Anyone with diabetes, or a loved one with diabetes, knows the toll it can take on one’s health and lifestyle, and your take on the disease is a feeble attempt at downplaying the situation you have hidden for monetary reasons.

Congratulations on making all those millions the past few years. I hope you’re happy with your choices and can sleep at night knowing you guided others on your unhealthy path. Enjoy the many more millions you will make from your endorsement deal and future books that “alter” your recipes. I do suggest, however, that you take a minute out of your day to brush up on some previous lawsuits against McDonald’s (who did NOT conceal their diabetes diagnosis…) because you may just find a process server knocking on your door.

Xoxo,
The TV Titan, who watches every cooking show on the Food Network except yours.

*A Note from the TV Titan: For a wonderful and diverse array of recipes – from the decadent to the health-conscious, tune in to The Chew on ABC. Yummy options, clear health risks and benefits to each recipe they tout! For more reasons why I love The Chew, click here: http://weeklyshowtv.com/2011/12/13/chew-on-this-the-chew-is-great/